


Hopeless

by SageOrijima



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2017-10-15
Packaged: 2019-01-17 14:37:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12367866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageOrijima/pseuds/SageOrijima
Summary: Lance's thoughts become too much for him and he feels like there's no other option other than to try to take his own life





	Hopeless

Tears welled up in cerulean eyes and a few slipped down smooth cheeks to drip off a sharp chin. “Haha, I wonder where I messed up, huh? I can’t do anything right anymore.” Lance doubled over and pressed his head in between his knees, suppressing the urge to scream. He bit his lip and attempted to get his breathing, that was beginning to become erratic, back to normal.

When nothing was working, Lance moved his knees up to his chest and dug his nails into his upper arms. The painful sting was nothing compared to the emptiness that the Blue Paladin felt deep inside his chest. He fell into his side and let the tears flow freely down his cheeks to soak into his pillow.

Suddenly, Lance threw his head back with laughter and sprawled out across his bed to stare blankly up at the ceiling. Everything seemed so stupid to him, so hopeless. Foul thoughts filled his mind and told him to hurt himself to make himself feel something, anything! His throat constricted and his mouth felt like it was full of cotton.

Breathing was difficult again so Lance moved onto his side and wrapped his arms around himself. A familiar taste filled his mouth and the Cuban nearly chuckled at it; he wondered when blood became a familiar taste as well. Lance wanted to go run into Hunk’s arms and cry into his chest about how he felt, but the Blue Paladin knew better.

He knew better than to bother Hunk about something as stupid as his personal issues.

With the eloquence of a squirrel on coffee, Lance jumped up and pulled on some clothes. Once Lance had an adequate amount of clothes on, he briskly walked towards the med bay. Immediately, Lance made a beeline to the drawers and started opening and closing them until he found what he was looking for.

A scalpel.

With tremblings hands and shaking breaths, Lance walked over to one of the cots and put it down before hopping up onto it. He crossed his legs and sat facing the scalpel, staring at it with blank eyes. At this point, his mind was convincing him that no one would care if he just left, vanished.

Another part of him was screaming at him and telling Lance that what he was about to do is stupid. 

Sadly, Lance could only hear the voice that was telling him to do it. To silt his wrist. That everything would be better if he just ceased to be.

He couldn’t go and talk to anyone about what he was feeling, they’d just laugh at him and brush it off so why try? “I can’t back out now.” Lance finalized his decision and picked up the scalpel with quivering fingers.

The Cuban brought the blade up to his throat and swallowed thickly. His breathing picked up and he could hear his heart thumping wildly in his chest. “Do it, just do it, nobody will care,” screeched the voices inside his mind, egging him on to just end it all.

Lance dropped his hand that contained the blade and clutched at his chest before realizing what would be easier. Straightening one arm out, Lance brought that blade to that. And, without warning or thinking anymore, ripped it through his smooth skin.

Blood immediately welled up and began to pool around the horizontal cut that spanned from the inside of his wrist all the way to the crook of his elbow. Tears freely flowed down Lance’s cheeks as he repeated the process on the other arm. His arms were tingling and stung slightly and his sobs echoed throughout the silent room.

Drops of the crimson liquid dropped onto the pure white cot, staining it Keith’s color. Crazed laughter bubbled up from Lance’s chest and he doubled over, his laughter turning into cackling. He was honestly surprised nobody had checked out the noise yet, but then again, his mind supplied the words: “Nobody wants to see your ugly face.”

The Blue Paladin picked up the scalpel again and pressed his against his arm and slashed down it again. And again. And again.

Blood had formed a small puddle around Lance’s knees, staining a good portion of the cot a deep red. Finally, the Cuban stopped ripping into his arm and shakily placed the blade down beside himself. Lance laid down on the cot and cried with his arms beside him, bleeding freely. After what felt like ten minutes, the pain had started to kick in and Lance’s mind started regaining itself.

A strong feeling of terror flowed through Lance and he got to his feet, leaving the blade where it was on the cot. In his sudden surge of panic, Lance hobbled down the hallway and left a trail behind himself. He eventually came to Hunk’s door and kicked it harshly a few times, attempting to get his best friend’s attention.

Soon after kicking the door, it opened to reveal a tired Pidge, who was rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. However, when they caught sight of Lance’s arm, they immediately woke up with a cry of alarm. “Hunk, holy shit, Hunk!” Lance wrapped his still-bleeding arms around himself and cringed at the loud voice.

Only then did he realize not only did he have a searing headache, but he was also fairly light-headed. Pidge’s scream successfully woke up Hunk, who jumped up out of bed and was immediately by Lance’s side. A door down the way also slid open to reveal a disheveled Keith with his Marmora blade in hand.

Hunk, without waiting for permission, picked up Lance bridal style and carried the Blue Paladin back into the med bay. He cringed when he saw the bloodstained cot and scalpel and whispered something to Keith that was too quiet for Lance to hear. “You know, buddy, this was pretty stupid of you. You should have came to me or at least someone.”

Pidge called for the others to gather in the med bay without giving them the reason why; Shiro was the first to arrive, then Coran, and finally Allura. Coran immediately gathered supplies to help patch the paladin up and whispered soothing words the whole time he worked on his nephew-figure. Allura stayed on the outside of the group with Pidge in her arms, both of them had unshed tears in their eyes.

Shiro had taken his place next to Hunk and Keith, on the other side of Lance’s cot. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered y’all.” Lance’s soft voice was heard by everybody in the room and Hunk had an immediate reaction to the words.

“Don’t say that! I’m glad you came to me, Lance! I wish you had done it sooner though, I hate seeing you in this state, man. I love you too much to see you like this, hurting like this!” A few tears rolled down Hunk’s cheeks and he bent down to bury his face into Lance’s hair, trying his best to stay out of Coran’s way.

Keith bit his lip and Shiro put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Lance, we all care for you so much, we hate seeing you like this. We all love you so much, you’re our Sharpshooter, our bond. If you ever need to talk or feel like this, I’m pretty sure you can go to anyone on the team and we’ll help you the best we can. Because we care about you, Lance.”

Shiro gently laced his fingers through Lance’s and gave a reassuring squeeze and an even more reassuring smile. Beside him, Keith shifted around and mumbled, “And who would I have to fight with if you were gone?”

“What Keith meant to say was that he would miss you, Lance.” Shiro lightly jabbed his brother in the ribs and then squeezed his hand. They continued holding hands underneath the cot for support.

Pidge then piped up, “Do you even realize how scared I was when I opened that door to see blood all over you? You’re like a second brother to me and seeing you like that physically hurts me, Lance!” Without any warning, Pidge raced over and jumped into Lance’s arm and the lanky boy wrapped his bandaged arms around the younger paladin.

Lance’s waterworks started up again as he clutched Pidge to his chest. Everyone huddled close together to be near Lance, most of them crying or glassy-eyed. “I’m sorry, everyone, I love you all so much. I just can’t handle myself sometimes, I promise I’ll try to talk to someone next time.”

“We love you more than you could ever imagine, Lance.”

**Author's Note:**

> To be honest, this week has been pretty difficult for me so I decided to take my feelings out on my favorite character <3


End file.
